


Hidden Secrets

by dykezamomattel



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Daredevil (TV) Spoilers, Daredevil AU, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Katya is a criminal, Lesbian AU, Mentioning of Abuse, Mentioning of Blood, Slow Burn, Trixie is just Trixie, Vanessa Marianna - Freeform, Wilson Fisk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:27:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykezamomattel/pseuds/dykezamomattel
Summary: Katya is Wilson Fisk, Trixie is Vanessa. Trixie works at a tailor shop, Katya comes in for a custom suit. Trixie is intrigued but so is Katya. Trixie slowly falls in love and gets tangled in Katya’s criminal life.This fic is inspired by Marvel TV Series: Daredevil. No major spoilers. I recommend watching just because it's really good!





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> Your favorite dyke Serena here with this fic no one asked for. I don't know how many chapters this will have. Let's just see where this ship strands.

Trixie propped her head on her hand as she stared out of the window of the tailor shop. Kim had set her up for an extra shift because the store was so busy. Clearly, that was not the case. Over the whole day, she had literally four customers and they only came to pick up their custom garments. Trixie picked her pink polished nails out of boredom. Amy was in the back sorting out their new fabrics and Trixie was left in the front, watching people pass the shop without even looking up. You could easily spot the tourists, as they looked so lost in a big city like New York. People from New York knew where they were going, without looking up from their phones or other things they were occupied with. 

A door behind Trixie opened and closed, a soft breeze of air flew across Trixie’s skin, leaving goosebumps on her arms. Trixie turned her head and focused on the person behind her. Kim stood behind her, hands in her pockets. 

“How’s it going?” She asked, leaning against the counter. Trixie rolled her eyes. 

“Oh yeah, so busy. People are coming in every second.” Trixie’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and Kim laughed. “Listen, I don’t know why you let me come in today. Cleary there isn’t much I can do, and I feel really useless.” Trixie sighed, and Kim shrugged. 

“Don’t worry, we’re closing soon. It’s almost six.” Kim said and softly brushed over Trixie’s shoulder. “You want to grab dinner later? Maybe Amy can tag along.” Kim said, and Trixie nodded. 

“That’d be great. I’m not in the mood to make my own dinner.” Kim nodded. 

“I’ll ask Amy,” Kim said and disappeared through the door again. Trixie turned her head back towards the windows and noticed someone was staring inside. Trixie smiled but raised an eyebrow. It was a woman with blonde hair, dark grey pantsuit with a purple blouse, tucked underneath in her pants. Two women stood next to her, both looking the other way, almost as if they were bodyguards. Trixie swore she’d seen that woman before, but she can’t recall from where. The woman turned around and walked away. Trixie glanced at the clock, signaling it was six and she stood up. She walked towards the door and turned around the sign to closed. The stuck the key in the key-hole and twisted it so the door was locked. Trixie did her usual routine, counted the register and stuffed it safely in the safe that stood in the back office. She grabbed her purse, coat and waited for Kim and Amy to show from the other side. 

“Amy is already out. Turkey is sick, so she had to go home.” Kim said, Trixie immediately making a mental note she had to ask about Turkey, Amy’s cat, the next day. She nodded and they both left the store. Locking the back door behind them. 

“What do you want to eat?” Kim asked, and Trixie shrugged. “Pizza?” Trixie smiled, and they started walking to their favorite little Italian restaurant. They reached the restaurant about ten minutes later. As they walked in, the owner greeted them and led them to their usual table, tucked away far in the back. Trixie ordered a plain cheese pizza and Kim got one with seafood. They were silently eating their pizza when the door opened and closed right away. Trixie glanced up and saw the same blonde woman that stood in front of their shop earlier. Trixie shifted her gaze back to her pizza. The woman sat two tables away from the two and Trixie couldn’t help but listen to their conversation. 

“I don’t care what you have to do. Just take care of the problem.” The woman spoke, voice thick with a foreign accent. Maybe European? Trixie looked back at Kim and opened her mouth to say something, but Kim’s phone ringing interrupted her. Kim stared at the caller ID. Trixie’s eyes followed Kim’s, landing on the lit-up phone. Naomi. 

“You’re not going to pick up, are you?” Trixie said, slightly annoyed. Kim and Naomi had broken up two months ago, but Naomi still called her on a daily basis, probably begging Kim to take her back. Kim shrugged.

“It’s probably nothing,” Kim said and locked her phone. Not even two seconds later, Naomi called back. Trixie’s hand reached for the phone, but Kim smacked her hand away. 

“I don’t need you to handle this for me. I’m a big girl.” Trixie knew that was a lie. She had known Kim for over ten years, and she knew goddamn well Kim can’t handle this on her own. But for now, she chose just to ignore this. The blonde woman stood up and swiftly walked by, leaving the restaurant. The woman left behind a trail of expensive smelling perfume. Kim was telling things to Naomi, but Trixie chose to ignore them. The blonde woman kept creeping around in her head, the smell of her perfume lingering in her nostrils. 

Trixie arrived back at her apartment about an hour later. She took most of her pizza home and Kim left to see how Amy and her cat were doing. Trixie took a brief shower and sat on the couch, feet tucked neatly beneath her. She flipped through the channels, landing on Catfish. Trixie had already seen every episode and every season of it, but she never stopped enjoying watching it. She was always fascinated by what people would do to get relationships, but also how to deal with personal issues or other things. Those episodes where everything went perfectly, and the people actually met them, made her heart melt. Trixie always wished something like that would happen to her. Not the catfish part of course, but finding someone and immediately falling for the person, know it was simply meant to be. 

Trixie kept watching Catfish until some stupid other show came on, and she turned off the TV. She padded her way to her bedroom, switching off every light that was still on. She crawled under the covers and fell into a peaceful dream, focusing on the cars speeding by. 

Trixie’s alarm was way too early. Yet another day at work, waiting for literally no one to show up. Trixie placed her blonde hair in a bun on her head and applied a small amount of make up to her face. She picked out some dark blue denim jeans with a pink t-shirt. The put on her black velvet Dr. Martens and walked to the kitchen. The brewed herself some coffee and quickly ate an apple. She poured the coffee into a travel mug and placed it on the counter. She got her coat from the hanger and place a thick scarf around her neck. 

Trixie walked towards the shop, multiple people bumping into her, but she barely cared anymore. She had lived in New York for about four years and was honestly really used to people being in her way all the time. Trixie stared down at her watch as she was stopped by a red traffic light. She only had five minutes left or she was going to be late. She mentally cursed at the traffic light for being red so long. After what felt like an eternity, the light turned green and Trixie stormed over to the other side of the road. She practically ran the last few blocks to work and managed to be right on time. 

She slid the key into the door and opened it. She noticed the lights weren’t on yet and the alarm started beeping. She typed in the alarm code and went to the office of the store. She carefully opened the safe and took out the register drawer. She heard the door open behind her, revealing Kim. She muttered a good morning and strutted off towards the little kitchen to make coffee for herself.

“Have you heard from Amy?” Trixie asked as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Kim looked up and shook her head. 

“Not yet but she would text me if she wasn’t able to come. Haven’t heard anything so I assume she’s coming in.” Kim said and as soon as she finished her sentence, the door opened and closed again. “Speak of the devil.” Kim joked as Amy walked towards them. 

“Good morning. How’s Turkey?” Trixie asked, stepping aside so Amy could pass. 

“He’s better now. At least keeping his food in his stomach. The vet said I had nothing to worry about.” Amy answered and gladly took the steaming mug of coffee Kim held out for her. 

“That’s good,” Trixie said, and Amy smiled, sipping from her coffee. “Well, I’ll open the store. If I need anything, I’ll let you know.” Trixie said and walked towards the front of the store. The placed the drawer in the register and walked towards the door to open it. She turned the sign to open and walked back towards the countertop. She rearranged some fabric patches they had in the showcase. Trixie looked up when she heard the doorbell jingle and saw someone stepping in. 

“Welcome to Honeycomb Tailor shop. How can I help you?” Trixie said, probably in a way too friendly voice. Trixie let her eyes wander through the shop since the customer didn’t reply to her friendly voice. She noticed there were two people waiting outside. Her gaze shifted back to the person standing in front of her. It took her only two seconds to realize it was the same mysterious woman that stood in front of the window a day earlier and the same person she had seen in her favorite Italian restaurant. Trixie swallowed hard.  
“You do custom suits, yes?” The woman’s voice again thick with an accent. Trixie nodded slowly. 

“Yes, we do. I’ll ask someone in here to help you.” Trixie said and smiled politely. The woman stared in her eyes. 

“No no, you can do it.” The woman said the accent seemed to have disappeared from her voice. Trixie stared at the woman, slightly raising her eyebrows. She never did a custom suit before, normally that’s something Kim would do. 

“But, eh, I never did a custom suit before. My colleague specializes in it.” Trixie stammered, the woman seemed unbothered by her words. 

“I’ll teach you. It’s not that hard.” A voice from behind said and Trixie spun around, Kim standing there with a smug look on her face. “Follow me this way.” Kim directed her voice to the woman. She walked out to the far-right corner of the shop, where a little platform was located. Kim mentioned for the blonde to step on it and gave Trixie her a measuring tape. 

“First you measure the total height and write it down,” Kim instructed, and Trixie suddenly got nervous. Her hands trembled around the tape as the held it at the feet of the woman, slowly going upwards to the top of her head. Trixie was sure the blonde could feel her shaky breath on her neck. 

“Five feet nine inches,” Trixie mumbled under her breath and Kim wrote it down. 

“Now the shoulders,” Kim said, and Trixie carefully placed the tape around the blonde’s shoulders. Trixie was about to say the width of her shoulder when she was interrupted. 

“I haven’t fully introduced myself, have I?” The blonde said, perfectly white teeth showing in a big smile. “Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova. Katya for short.” Trixie tried to wrap her head around that name, but it was impossible for her to pronounce. 

“Beatrice Mattel. Trixie for short.” She felt vulnerable for telling this strange woman her full name, but a tiny part of her also felt comfortable telling it. 

“Trixie,” Katya softly mumbled under her breath. “How wide are my shoulders, doll?” Trixie shifted her gaze to Kim and swallowed down hard. 

“Sixteen and a half inches,” Trixie said, and Kim scribbled it down, completely ignoring what just happened. 

“Now the waist.” Trixie nodded and wrapped her arms around Katya’s waist. She held her breath while doing so and it was almost as if Katya did the same. Trixie could see Katya was tapping her foot lightly, obviously annoyed by how long it took for Trixie to measure her. 

“Twenty-eight,” Trixie said. 

“Legs.” Was all Kim said and continued to stare at Trixie. She carefully squatted down and placed the measuring tape at the sole of her heels. She let her fingers travel up towards her hip, the tape following along. 

“Thirty-two inches,” Trixie said and stood back up. “Anything else?” Kim looked at her and wanted to say something. 

“Yes, my breasts,” Katya said, staring at Trixie. “But I can just tell you that information. Thirty-four.” Kim scribbled it down and walked towards the fabric wall. 

“Now all we have to do is pick a fabric and a blouse and we’re ready to make it for you,” Kim said, and Katya nodded. She stepped off the platform and walked towards the fabric wall. She carefully walked by, touching almost every fabric. 

“This one.” Katya pointed at a dark grey fabric with a black and red plaid sewn into the grey. “For the blouse, I’ll take this red satin. Now just send the bill to this address. I’ll pick everything up in two days.” Katya added and shoved a business card into her hands. Kim nodded awkwardly and before she knew, Katya was gone, leaving the doorbell jingle. 

“Two days?” Kim nearly shouted, and Trixie flinched. “I can never make a full custom suit in two freaking days.” Kim sighed hard and left to the back, taking the fabrics with her. 

“Let me know how much you need so I can make the bill!” Trixie yelled at her, but a door was slammed. Trixie walked back towards the counter and went back to staring out of the window. The scent of Katya’s perfume haunted her again. 

The rest of the day slowly passed, and Kim allowed Trixie to go home earlier because she wasn’t really needed. Amy could look after the front, while Kim made the suit. Trixie walked home, not in the mood to call an Uber and wait for it. On her way home, she stopped at the grocery store and picked out something she was going to make for dinner. When Trixie stood at the register to pay, a news flash came on the tiny TV hanging on the wall in the corner. Trixie didn’t mean to pay attention to it but in the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar blonde face on TV. Katya was surrounded by press and cameras. The man and woman that followed her around, stood next to her, arms crossed and face on poker face. None of the words that left Katya’s mouth went into Trixie’s head. But clearly, Katya was known in New York, or so she saw at the crowds that stood yards behind the press. People looked either supporting or not supporting. 

“All I want is for New Yorkers to feel safe,” Katya said, pausing a second to look directly at the camera. “And I will do everything in my power to do so.” 

So, Katya was someone political, maybe a congresswoman. Trixie was confused but she kept staring at the TV. Trixie felt oddly attracted to the woman at this point. The look on her face was harsh, almost mean. Or rather angry. It was serious, and Trixie wasn’t used to it. As you know this woman, a voice in her head told her. But it did feel like that. When Katya walked into the store today, she looked harsh and serious. Something was bothering her. But her face softened when her eyes laid on her. Or maybe that was just Trixie’s imagination. Trixie was snapped out of her thoughts by the store clerk trying to get her attention for probably the past few minutes. Trixie blushed hard and handed him the money. 

“Keep the change,” Trixie mumbled and walked out of the store. She continued her road back home, walking fast and maneuvering through the thick crowd of people. Trixie fumbled with her keys, her neighbor passing and staring at her weirdly. She mumbled a hi under her breath and stepped into her apartment. It was cold and dark. She flipped on some lights and walked towards the thermostat to turn on the heating a little bit. Trixie started preparing her food, her mind blank and not really thinking of anything. 

Trixie sat at her small dinner table, near the large window that was set in the middle of her living room. It wasn’t the best view, she must admit. But it was better than surrounding fields of corn, large trees and whatnot back in Wisconsin. Her mind wandered back in time, to the times she was a little girl. Playing outside with her dolls, not worrying about anything. She didn’t think of that very long after it started reminding her of why she left in the first place. Her mind wandered back to the blonde and she was starting to get a little excited for when Katya would return to the store in two days. 

Trixie remembered every tiny detail of Katya’s body. Slender legs tucked away under the soft grey of the pants that belonged to the pantsuit she was wearing. Strong muscles, probably tan too, due to the tan she saw in her neck. Trixie was nervous around her, her breath hitched in her throat when she moved closer. She was almost scared that the actually had to measure her breasts. It was a relief she didn’t need to do that, but it also saddened her. She wanted to wrap her arms around the tiny waist the woman had, being able to find out what the width of her chest was. But she found anyway, without having to do it herself. Trixie’s stomach turned into a tight knot and she focused herself on something else, praying those two days went by fast.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Katya go out on a date but not everything turns out the way Katya wants it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello,  
> First of all, I would like to inform you there is a slight mention of blood at the end of this chapter. My apologies for that, and you can skip that if you please. 
> 
> AND YOU GUYS!! I got so many messages that you all liked it and that made me so happy! Thank you so much and thank you for all the love and support. Now enjoy this chapter gays x

Katya wasn’t lying when she said she would be back in two days. Kim nearly finished the suit, staying up till late at night to make sure ever hem was perfectly sewed. Trixie tried to stop herself from thinking about Katya all the time, but she failed to do so. Katya haunted her, and it made her skin crawl. 

It was late in the afternoon when the doorbell jingled, and Trixie quickly returned to the front of the store, after sitting in the kitchen for probably way too long. Trixie flattened her skirt and smiled when she walked in. When she arrived at the front, it revealed a heavenly breathing Katya, as if she had just run the marathon of New York. There was a look between one of the people standing near the door and Katya. Trixie tried not to stare and picked at her nails. Not much later Kim walked in with the suit draped over her arms, the fabric being shielded by plastic bags. Katya smiled gracefully, slightly tilting her head. 

“Is there a possibility that I could try the suit on?” Katya asked. 

Kim nodded. “Of course. There’s a fitting room in the back.” Kim said, pointing her finger behind Katya. “I’ll walk with you and hang the garment for you.” They both walked towards the fitting room and Katya disappeared behind the curtain. Kim walked towards Trixie but didn’t say anything. It was an awkward situation and Trixie wished she was anywhere but here right now. She was in the same room as the woman who didn’t leave her mind all the time. She didn’t know who she was, where she was from, heck she didn’t even know how old she was. Trixie could pick up her phone and try to google her name and probably a million hits would show up. But a part of Trixie was maybe scared of finding out the truth. Maybe that this crush could be a dangerous thing. Trixie mentally shook her head and forced herself to snap out of her thoughts. 

Katya appeared from behind the curtains of the fitting room. The suit fitted her body perfectly and Kim did an amazing job making it. Katya strutted towards the big mirror on the wall and stood in front of it, slightly tugging at the hem of her jacket. She turned her body until she was facing Trixie, shortly making eye contact but she quickly turned her head over her shoulder. Katya smiled pleasantly at herself and faced Kim again. Kim stared at Trixie with a weird look on her face and Trixie could feel herself go red. 

“Miss Trixie,” Katya said, directly facing her. Trixie snapped her head towards Katya’s face and stared at her. “What do you think? Do you like it?” Katya asked. Trixie swallowed.

“Yes, I do. Very much.” Trixie didn’t really think about what she said, she just blurted it out, but she saw Katya’s face light up when she did. Katya walked back towards the fitting room and closed the thick curtain again. Kim walked up to Trixie and crossed her arms. 

“You’re crushing on her.” She said. She didn’t ask, just simply stated the fact that she was. She hated how good Kim knew her. It was always written all over her face when she was into someone. Trixie groaned. 

“I am not,” Trixie said and tried not to look at Kim, who was now staring at her. Katya exited the fitting room again, the suit carefully put back in the bags, draping over her arm. She placed them on the counter in front of them and cleared her throat. 

“You did an excellent job, Miss Chi.” Katya said, “I never had a suit made for me that was this good. I highly appreciate it. And you can count on the fact that I’ll be coming back.” Katya let her eyes wander off to Trixie, but Trixie refused to look up. “Were you able to send the bill yet?” 

“We haven’t had the time to do so. But I’ll make sure it will get done soon.” Kim said, smiling politely at Katya. 

“Oh no, it’s fine. I’ll pay you now.” Katya said and placed money on the counter. Trixie glanced at it from the corner of her eye. A neatly stacked pile of money, at least double of what the suit actually cost. Kim slightly opened her mouth. 

“That’s way too much,” Kim said staring at Katya. Katya shook her head. 

“No, it’s not. You did an excellent job and that deserves to be paid well.” Katya said, shoving the money towards Kim. Trixie decided to look up and stared at the stack of money. “See you next time,” Katya said, maybe directing it more towards Trixie but they both pretended that wasn’t the case. The bell jingled, and the store was empty again. Kim stared the money, then at Trixie. Neither of them knew what to say. Kim took the money and disappeared in the back. Trixie glanced outside, hoping she could catch maybe one last glance at Katya, but she was already gone. 

Kim and Trixie were ready to head home. They stood in the back, Kim holding the key to close the door and Trixie clutched her pink bag. They walked outside, and Kim closed the door. She turned around and faced Trixie. 

“I can’t keep all of this, Trixie. She gave me over ten thousand dollars for a freaking suit. All together it didn’t even cost me half of that. Please, take this.” Kim said and pushed some bills in her hands. Trixie stared down, and her head shot up.

Kim, I-“ Trixie stammered but Kim shushed her. 

“See it as a raise or something. It’s my store, Trixie. I can do what I want. Just take it.” Kim said, and she started walking away. 

“Thank you, Kim. For everything.” She said, and Kim smiled at her. They parted ways and Trixie started walking home. She rounded the corner when she nearly bumped into someone. She gripped the string of her bag and her eyes shot up. 

“I’m so sorry!” Trixie said but stopped right in her track. The smaller blonde woman smiled at her, perfect white teeth showing again. Trixie gulped down and shifted uncomfortably on her spot. 

“Miss Trixie. What a coincidence I’m bumping into you.” The words flew across the air but never seemed to fully make it to Trixie’s ears. “I was actually just on my way to see if you were still around the shop.” 

“You were?” Trixie said, words coming out more confidently than she had expected. She nodded and held out her arm.

“Walk with me?” Trixie wasn’t sure if it was a question or a demand. Without thinking, Trixie gripped the arm and turned around, started walking in the slow pace the blonde was walking. 

“I’m very intrigued by you,” She started. “Especially your eyes. They intrigue me. So, green. Piercing into my own.” Trixie blushed and stared at her feet. 

“Thank you, Miss Zamo-,” Trixie was unable to pronounce her name and she felt embarrassed. Katya chuckled. 

“No need to be embarrassed, doll. Almost no one can pronounce my name except for family.” Katya joked, and Trixie softly laughed, blushing at the nickname. They didn’t even know each other, and Katya was already giving her pet names. 

“I was actually wondering if you cared to go out for dinner?” Katya asked, snapping Trixie out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, sure,” Trixie said, feeling flattered. They walked to a tiny restaurant and as soon as they walked in, the waiter brought them to their place. Had she made reservations before she even asked Trixie if she wanted to go? Trixie frowned but sat down anyway, and let the waiter take her coat away. She hung her purse over the seat of the chair and crossed her legs. She was definitely not dressed for this restaurant, but no one seemed to mind. There was a couple two tables next to them and one far in the right corner. Soft classical music played on the background. The waiter returned not much later with two leather wrapped menus and a bottle of wine. He poured wine into Katya’s glass but didn’t fill it completely. Katya picked up her glass and swirled it around a little. She took a sip and set her glass down, swallowing the sip she had in her mouth. 

“Yes.” She softly muttered. The waiter walked around Trixie to fill her glass first. Trixie wasn’t very much a red wine drinker, but she just went on with it. “I hope you like it.” She said after the waiter walked off. Trixie picked up her glass and smelled the wine, she had seen people do it before. She took a small sip and was actually surprised by how good the sweet taste was on her tongue. 

“It’s delicious,” Trixie said, and Katya smiled slightly. 

“I don’t know much about wine,” Katya said, and Trixie felt relieved. “My assistant recommended this.” 

“Maybe I should go out with them,” Trixie said, and Katya looked shocked. “That was a joke.” She quickly added. Katya smiled. 

“Of course.”

“A bad one but,” Trixie said, Katya just looked at her. “You don’t do this often, do you?” Trixie asked. Katya shifted uncomfortably. 

“No,” Katya said, fumbling with the buttons on her suit. “I have been preoccupied. Long term.” She said. Trixie smiled. She remembered when she used to be this awkward on dates. She still was, but the fact that Katya was worse at this than she was, somehow made her feel more comfortable. 

“This is a nice restaurant. I didn’t even know it existed.” Trixie said, after a while. 

“That could be true,” Katya said. “It was opened last month.” Trixie nodded.

“The city is really changing,” Trixie said, not sure what she should say so she just blurted out some stupid things. 

“Not fast enough,” Katya said, apparently taking it seriously. 

“Well, we wouldn’t want all the character of the city to be scrubbed away,” Trixie said in a serious tone. Katya made a face at her. 

“You didn’t grow up here, did you?” Katya asked her, and Trixie laughed, shaking her head. 

“What gave it away?” Trixie asked, taking the wine glass back into her hand. 

“When I was a kid, I used to dream about what it would be like to live somewhere far away from New York. Somewhere beautiful.” Katya said, taking a sip from her wine.

“What made you stay?” 

“Oh, I didn’t. When I was twelve years old, my mother sent me away to stay with family. Somewhere on a farm, in the middle of nowhere. Those were good years.” Trixie placed her glass back down and folded her hands under her head, staring at Katya.

“But you came back.” 

“Yes. Time and distance give you certain clarity. I realized this city was a part of me. That it was in my blood. I would do anything to make it a better place. For people like you.” Trixie blushed and stared at the table. She raised her glass and Katya did the same. 

“To a better city,” Trixie said, their glasses clinging together.

“How do you like the suit?” Katya looked at her and smile a little. 

“I love it very much. I wanted to say thank you to you personally.” Katya said, and Trixie frowned. 

“You know I didn’t make the suit, right? Kim did all the work. I simply sit at the counter.” 

Katya shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. You worked just as hard on it as Miss Chi.” The waiter walked in with their food. He placed the salad in front of Trixie, it looked like art and she was scared to even touch it. Trixie looked towards Katya’s plate and saw that it also looked like a piece of fine art. The steak she apparently ordered, was nicely placed in the middle of her plate, surrounded by a few vegetables and condiments. Trixie took her cutlery in her hands and started eating her salad. They ate their dinner in silence and soon they both had empty plates. Trixie took a napkin from the table and wiped her mouth clean. The waiter asked if they wanted dessert, but Trixie shook her head. 

“Are you sure you don’t want dessert?” Katya asked, and Trixie smiled.

“Yes, I am. I’m full.” Trixie answered. 

“They have amazing cheesecake here. Or so I’ve heard.” Katya said, staring at Trixie. Trixie laughed. 

“Well, now I want to taste it. Do you want to share one?” Trixie said, and Katya signaled a waiter over to their table. 

“We’ll have a cheesecake, please.” The waiter nodded and walked off. 

“I’ve never had cheesecake before,” Trixie said Katya looked at her. 

“I can get you something else.” Trixie shook her head. 

“No, it’s fine. Sometimes you have to try new things, right?” Katya smiled at her and nodded slightly. 

“Yes, sometimes we get so caught up in the things we always do and have. And who we think we are.” Katya said Trixie ran her hand through her hair. 

“And who exactly are you, Katya?” Trixie asked her. Katya looked away for a moment. 

“Tonight, I’m just a woman. Enjoying the company of a captivating woman.” Trixie blushed and stared at Katya. Two men came barging in. One of them tried to stop the other. 

“I told you she was not available.” The one said, but the other man pushed his way through towards the table they were on. Several men, including the same dark-haired woman that was at the shop, stood up and gathered around the table. Trixie sat up straight, but Katya seemed unbothered. 

“Miss., I have to speak to you.” The man fighting his way through the crowd was now behind Katya, directing his tone at her. Katya stood up and Trixie looked at her. 

“What is this?” Trixie asked and Katya pushed the blonde-haired woman and grabbed her arm. 

“We need to go. Now. I’m sorry.” Katya said, pulling Trixie out of her chair. Trixie walked in front of Katya, and the man started speaking again. 

“My brother and I are forever grateful for your offer.” He said. 

“Violet will take care of this,” Katya said, pushing Trixie towards the exit. Katya stood next to Violet. 

“Put him in a car,” Katya said, and they walked out. Violet sighed and nodded. 

“Understood.” 

Katya guided Trixie out of the building and they silently started walking. 

“Let me take you home,” Katya said, and Trixie shook her head. 

“It’s not far from here. I can walk.” Trixie said, still feeling uneasy by this whole situation. 

“At least let me walk with you. Just to be sure you get home safely.” Katya said and eventually, Trixie nodded. She started walking towards her apartment and Katya silently followed her. About ten minutes later they arrived in front of the huge building and they stopped. Trixie turned around to face Katya.

“Will I see you again?” Katya asked. Trixie sighed. 

“I don’t usually date customers,” Trixie said, trying to find an excuse not to see her again. 

“And yet, you went out with me,” Katya said, amusement obvious in her voice. 

“And here we are, so.” Trixie cocked her head, making Katya feel uneasy for this. 

“I can stop buying suits at your shop, so I won’t have an excuse to see you,” Katya said. 

“I don’t care about that, Katya. I’m not interested in gestures or whatever that was about at the restaurant. I went out with you because,” Trixie paused for a second, Katya eager about what was about to come out of her mouth next. “There is something different about you. Not so sure it’s a good thing now.” 

“As you said, I don’t do this often,” Katya said. “And I’m sorry that our night went sideways. But I enjoyed our time together very much, Trixie.” Katya stared at the ground and cleared her throat. 

“If you don’t feel the same, even a little bit. Just tell me and I will promise you, you will never see me again.” Trixie looked away for a second and Katya kept staring at her.

“I don’t know how I feel,” Trixie said and turned around, entering her apartment building. Katya stood there for a little while, watching as Trixie disappeared in the elevator, giving her one last look. Katya sighed and turned around. Violet showed up around the corner and Katya got in the black car. The man that interrupted their dinner was on the other side, staring out of the window. Katya chuckled softly. 

“You were right to reach out to us although a call would’ve been more appropriate.” 

“Look, I wanted to speak with you in person. I tried to put the past behind us.” Katya rolled her eyes and the car came to a halt. Violet knocked on the window. “Why are we stopping?” 

“They say the past is edged in stone, but it isn’t. It’s smoked trapped in a closed room swirling around and changing. The past can never be completely erased, it lingers. Like the scent of burned wood.” Katya said, getting out of the car. She walked around the car, opening the door on the passenger side, where the man sat. She grabbed his collar, dragging him out of the car, slamming his head against the door before throwing him out on the ground. Violet silently sat in the driver’s seat, picking at her nails and pretending nothing was happening. Katya and the man started punching each other until the man hit his head against the brick ground. Katya dragged his body towards the car again and lied his head against the door. 

“You embarrassed me,” Katya said, pushing her heel against the man’s throat. “Embarrassed me in front of her.” The man turned his head toward Violet and started mumbling something in a different language. Violet just raised her eyebrow and looked to the other side. Katya grabbed the back of the man’s head and slammed the car door against it a couple of times until the man’s head was still in her hands, and the body was limp on the ground. Violet got out of the car and walked around it, careful that her expensive shoes didn’t step in the man’s blood. Katya let go of the head and stared at her reflection in the car window. A few blood splatters where on her face but she wiped them away with the back of her sleeve. She let out a deep breath and turned towards Violet. 

“Please take care of this,” Katya said, stepping back into the car. Katya listened to the noises outside as she let her breath go back to normal. She ran her hand through her hair and waited for Violet to finish cleaning up her mess. It was a really bad idea to interrupt her during a date. Violet returned to the driver’s side of the car and they drove off.


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya takes Trixie out of dinner to make up with the last one and Trixie finds out some new things about Katya's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO  
> I'm SORRY I SUCK AT UPDATING. 
> 
> This chapter is rather short again but I'll try to make the next chapter longer! 
> 
> xox

Trixie hadn’t heard for Katya or seen her anywhere. Somehow, she was grateful, but she missed her presence. The days went by slowly and there wasn’t much to do at work. Kim had given her a couple of days off, so it felt like she had a mini vacation. 

Trixie lazily hung around in her apartment, cleaning it from the ceiling down and made a few rearrangements around the house. She decorated it with a few new things but that’s it. That’s all she did and couldn’t be bothered to do anything else. She was sitting on the couch with her silk pink bathrobe, watching meaningless television drama’s and drinking wine. She felt like some old lady in her fifties, but it was amazing. Not working for about five days was great. 

Later that night someone knocked on her door a few times and rang the bell. Trixie groaned and complained internally that she had to get up. She placed her glass down on the coffee table and stood up. She tugged on the back of her bathrobe, but it failed to cover the bottom of her butt. It was visible and made a mental note not to turn around with the door open. She shuffled over to the door and opened it a little bit. Trixie’s eyes widen but she doesn’t move. It was Violet. In dark tight jeans, a dark suit jacket, and shiny heels. Her hair was high in a ponytail and her make-up was beautifully done. Trixie swallowed slowly. 

“Uh, hi.” She said, smiling awkwardly. Violet tried to resist the urge to roll her eyes, but it happened anyway. Trixie didn’t know what to do or say so she just stood there, in her way too short pink silk bathrobe. 

“Miss Zamo requested your presence for dinner. Be ready in an hour. I’ll wait outside.” Violet said and turned around. Trixie just stared at her back in shock and didn’t move. No way she could be ready for dinner in an hour. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted it, but it wasn’t a question, it was a demand, so she had to. She closed to door and turned her back against it. She sighed and walked towards her tiny bathroom. 

Trixie stood in the shower, making the water avoid her hair. She didn’t have time to watch her hair if she wanted her make-up to look good. Trixie scrubbed her body with one of her favorite scents and rinsed it off. She dried herself and stood in front of the mirror. Her face started to look a lot healthier because she hadn’t worn a full face of make-up in a few days. She applied her foundation and concealer in a few seconds and spread it out with her beauty blender. She carefully did her eyebrows and decided just to line her eyes and put on some mascara. Trixie walked out to the bedroom and opened her closet. The clothes almost fell out when she opened it and she had to avoid a few things actually falling out. Trixie looked through her dresses and decided just to go with a pink flowy one. It was surprisingly warm outside for New York, but she still felt the need to cover herself. She pulled out her favorite pair of soft pink panties and bra and put them on.

Trixie carefully put the dress over her head, making sure she didn’t touch any of her make-up and let the dress fall down. She checked the clock on her nightstand and saw that she still had ten minutes left before she had to be downstairs in the car. She put on her favorite pair of pink heels and sprayed on some of her perfume. Five minutes left. For some reason, she was starting to feel a little nervous. After what happened last time, she was kind of in shock and wondering what kind of person Katya actually was. Maybe she was some sort of mafia boss or involved in something more underground. 

Trixie looked at herself one last time in the mirror and decided to walk downstairs. She grabbed her purse from the table and stuffed her phone in there. She checked if the other items she left in her purse still were there, and they were. She closed her door and carefully made her way down the stairs. When she stepped outside of her building, Violet was already standing there holding the door of the car open, so she could step in. She sat down on the leather seats of the car and Violet closed the door. 

Within fifteen minutes she arrived at her destination, apparently. She didn’t look outside one time during the car ride, too focused on picking her nails and overthinking the whole evening. Violet opened her car door and Trixie finally looked up. She saw that it was the same restaurant they were at last time. She swallowed down hard and memories from the night a few days prior flooded in her head. She decided to ignore her gut telling her not to go inside and stepped out of the car. She walked through the main doors of the restaurant and was greeted by the same waiter from last time. 

“Good evening, Madame.” He said and gestured his hand forward. “This was please.” Trixie looked up and saw that the whole restaurant was empty. On the same table, there was Katya. She was staring in front of her. Trixie hesitated before she made her way towards Katya. When Katya heard Trixie’s footsteps, she turned her head towards her. She quickly stood up and stared at Trixie. 

“I didn’t know you would show,” Katya said, concern clearly present in her voice. Trixie looked back at Katya. 

“Neither did I,” Trixie said. “I told you I didn’t want your gestures.” Katya quickly shook her head. 

“No no, it isn’t a gesture. I didn’t want to be interrupted.” She said, staring at the table. “We can go somewhere else if you’d like.” She quickly added. Trixie shook her head.

“And what if I just want to walk out that door? By myself?” Trixie said, raising her eyebrow. She wasn’t sure if she was testing Katya’s waters or if she actually wanted to leave. Every time she was around Katya, it seemed that her mind did his own thing. 

“Then I would dine alone,” Katya said. She stared at Trixie again. “I wouldn’t be the first time.” Trixie felt unimpressed. 

“I’ve been lied to before, by women. Some were even decent ones, but they still felt the need to be dishonest about things that matter.” Trixie slowly said Katya felt uneasy. “Do you feel that need, Katya?” Katya hesitated. 

“I don’t like to be in public.” She finally said. “And I don’t like to be questioned. But you can ask me everything, Trixie. And I will always be honest with you, you have my word.” Trixie nodded. 

“Let’s start with something simple. What are we drinking?” Trixie asked and showed a sly smile. Katya smiled too, amusement filled her eyes. Katya guided Trixie to her chair and held it out for her. Trixie sat down and Katya walked around the table to sit on her own chair. 

“Marcel,” Katya said. “The seventy-five Brunello di Montalcino.” Marcel, apparently that was the waiter’s name, nodded and walked off again. Not much later Marcel came back with the bottle of wine in his hands. He carefully poured it into the glasses. They ordered their food and Marcel walked off again. Trixie lifted her glass and smelled the wine again. 

“This one’s different than last time.” She mentioned and Katya nodded. 

“My assistant, Violet, said we should order this. She has a great taste in wine.” Trixie took a small sip of the wine, Katya eagerly staring at her face. This one tasted different but it was good. Trixie smiled and sat down her glass. 

“This one is delicious too,” Trixie said. Katya smiled softly and Marcel came around with their food. 

“Tell me something about yourself,” Katya said, after a while. Trixie set her cutlery down and wiped her mouth. She didn’t really know what to say, at all. So, she just told the first thing that came into her mind. 

“I dated a princess once.” Trixie blurted out and Katya nearly choked on her food. She coughed and wiped her mouth.

“A princess?” Katya said, smiling a little. Trixie sighed, why did she have to tell her this? 

“I didn’t know she was one at first. She saw me in the shop when I just started. I barely knew anything about making clothes. I went to beauty school. She complimented one of the dresses on the mannequin and asked me if I made it.” Trixie smiled at the memory. “I said yes.” Katya frowned. 

“You said yes? But you didn’t actually make it?” She asked. Trixie laughed. 

“No, of course not. I didn’t even know how to use a sewing machine.” Katya chuckled. 

“She told me she found it beautiful, but I was more beautiful than the dress. I knew it was a horrible line, but it worked. She waited for me to finish work.” Trixie said, Katya eager listening to her story, not caring about who it was. Katya promised her she would be completely honest, so she figured she should do the same thing. “I slept with her.” Trixie lifted her glass and took a sip. Katya’s face turned back into a frown, clearly not amused by what she just heard. Katya stared down at her plate. 

“Does that shock you?” Trixie asked a minute went by of Katya not saying a thing. Katya shrugged and released a breath.

“You’re a very attractive woman. I assume you had lovers.” Katya said awkwardly. 

“That’s not what I asked,” Trixie said. Katya looked up. 

“No. It didn’t shock me.” Trixie cocked her head to the side and smiled. 

“Then why did you look away?” 

“Because I wish I had said something like that to you when we first met,” Katya said, staring directly at Trixie. Trixie laughed softly. 

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Trixie said and took another sip of her wine. 

“I changed my mind,” Trixie said, and Katya frowned. “This wine is even better than the last one.” Katya nodded in agreement. “Violet has a great taste.” 

“I’ll pass it on,” Katya said. “I said I would be honest,” Katya added with a smile. 

Trixie nodded. “You did, yes.” 

“Violet is more than an assistant. She’s my friend.” 

“So, you do have those.” Trixie blurted out, kind of regretting she said that, but Katya smiled anyway. “You’re the woman who said she’s lonely. Eating dinner alone, for example.” 

Katya smiled. “That’s true.” Marcel came walking to the table and Katya told him that she could take the plates away. He walked off with their plates in his hands, and Trixie still had her hand wrapped around the wine glass. 

“So, why does a woman like you feel so alone?” Trixie asked, staring at her wine as she swirled it around in her glass. 

“Nature of my business, I suppose,” Katya answered. 

“And what kind of business is that?” Katya looked away and stared out of the window. 

“Rebuilding this city.” She simply said. “I want to carve something beautiful out of its ugliness, set free its potential.” 

“You sound like someone speaking highly of his own work. A designer talking about their new collection.” Katya chuckled.

“I’m just a woman with a dream.” She said, looking back at Trixie. 

“What do you think a designer is?” Trixie asked, and Katya started playing with the buttons on her suit sleeves. Trixie noticed they are exactly the same as last time. “Are those the only ones you have? You wore them last time.” Katya stared down at her sleeves. 

“They belonged to my father. I wear them every day, to remember him.” Katya said and lied her arms down on the table. 

“Did he pass?” Trixie asked and Katya sighed. 

“When I was young, yes. May I ask you something?” She suddenly asked. Trixie carefully nodded. 

“I’d say you’ve earned it.” Katya scoffed and stared at Trixie purse, on the table. 

“What kind of gun do you have in your purse?” Trixie swallowed down hard. No one had ever noticed she actually kept one in it nor had she told anyone. Trixie stared at Katya and then at her purse. She sighed and looked back up.

“It’s a twenty-two.” 

“Did you think you would need that tonight?” Katya continued her stare at Trixie. 

“We’ve been sitting here, talking for hours. And you’re going to insult me like that I have no idea what you really do?” 

“What I said, about what I want for the city. It’s true. But money and influence are not enough on such a scale. Sometimes it requires violence.” 

Trixie leaned forward. “I know you’re a dangerous woman. That’s why I brought a gun to a dinner date.” Katya frowned and shook her head. 

“Would you like to leave?” 

“No,” Trixie whispered. “I’d like a reason to stay.” Trixie leaned back again, and Katya sighed. There were a few seconds of silence when Katya took a hard breath. 

“I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, Trixie. I’ve hurt people, and I’m going to hurt more people. It’s impossible to avoid for what I’m trying to do. But I take no pleasure in it.” Katya said, fumbling with the buttons on her sleeve. “In cruelty, but this city isn’t a caterpillar. It doesn’t spin a cocoon and turns in to butterfly on its own. The city crumbles and fades. It needs to die before it can be reborn.” Trixie shifted in her seat and swallowed. 

“So, I don’t need the gun?” Trixie lifted her corners into a smile and Katya shook her head. 

“By my side, is the safest place you could ever be.” Trixie finally let go of her wine glass and placed her purse in front of her, her hands lingered on the leather. She slowly opened it and got the gun out of it. She lifted it in the air and placed it in front of Katya on the table. Katya smiled at her and took the gun off the table. She placed it in her pocket on the inside of her suit jacket. Katya smiled and turned her head to see Marcel staring at her, talking on the phone. Katya excused herself and walked away, Marcel following her. Trixie grabbed her glass of wine and walked towards the window. The first time she didn’t even realize the windows were that tall and had a wonderful view. She crossed her arms, careful to hold the wine in her hand still. Trixie stared all the way to the back when suddenly a fire erupted between two buildings. The sound of Katya’s heels filled the empty restaurant. Katya hovered behind Trixie. 

“Oh my god, Katya.” Trixie softly mumbled under her breath. Katya sighed. 

“Have you heard of this boy who watched his father being pulled from their car, beaten before the boy was taken?” Katya asked. Trixie looked up, no idea where this story was going. Trixie softly nodded her head. “The men that did that, they will no longer infect the city.” Katya breathed and Trixie focused her eyes on the fire again, sirens wailing in the background. 

“Good.” Was all Trixie said. Katya’s eyes left Trixie and focused on the fire, starting to leave smoke to linger in the air. 

“We should call it a night.” Katya said and Trixie nodded. “I need to get you home before the roads close. Marcel?” Marcel stepped away from the bar and walked towards them. 

“Your car is ready, Miss,” Marcel said, folding his hands behind his back.

“Just one last thing,” Katya said and took an envelope out of her pocket. “I wanted to give you this. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me this evening. For making this evening special for me.” Marcel took the envelope and folded his hands behind his back again. 

“A pleasure as always, Miss.” Katya buttoned her jacked and offered Trixie her hand. Trixie looked at the hand and took it. They started walking towards the exit and Trixie shot a sweet smile at Marcel. 

“I had a wonderful time, Trixie. I hope you agree with me on that.” Katya looked into Trixie’s eyes, unsure of what she was about to say. Trixie smiles big and nodded. 

“I certainly did. It went better than last time.” She joked and Katya let out a soft chuckle. 

“Let me take you home,” Katya said and took her hand, guiding her towards the car in front of them. Trixie got in and Katya sat next to her, closing the door. Katya remembered her address and said it through the little window and the driver nodded, speeding off towards their destination. Trixie wondered why Violet wasn’t behind the wheel. She was so used to Violet being around them, that this other driver makes her slightly uncomfortable. She tried not to show it, but Katya already noticed. She placed her hand softly on Trixie’s thigh but didn’t look at her. 

A few minutes later they arrived at Trixie’s apartment. Katya got out of the car and helped Trixie step out. 

“Katya, I want to thank you for tonight. I had a great time and I'm very grateful you were so open to me. I hope we can do it some other time.” Trixie said and Katya nodded. 

“Of course, we can. You will hear from me.” Katya said and Trixie placed a kiss on her cheek. She blushed slightly as she walked off into the building. Katya waited for her to disappear and got back in her car. 

Trixie stumbled up the stairs and opened the door of her apartment. As soon as she sat on her couch, she realized how tired she was. She grabbed the remote control and turned on the TV, where she immediately saw the fires from before. It was strange to know how the explosions happened, while no other person besides Katya and maybe her staff knew about this. Trixie somehow felt like she was involved in all of this, and maybe she was. It was strange to know about Katya's existence. Sure she had seen her on TV but now she knew her in person. It was strange to know that she was behind all of the weird things happening around here lately. If she didn't know her, she would've probably just thought that it was a gas leak or something else. But now she knows what caused the change around the city. Every time she was around Katya, she felt drawn to her like an intoxicating smell that’s so good, you need to follow it so you can smell more of it. She wanted to know everything about Katya and her life. She wanted to be a part of it. Katya was doing everything in her power to make this city a better place, and maybe that is what the city needs. 

Trixie was dumb and didn’t ask Katya for her number. She wanted to call her and spend more time with her. But if she had to believe Katya, it wouldn’t be long before she somehow got in touch again and invited her to do something along her side. Trixie stared at the TV mindlessly while her thoughts kept running and running. She felt like a different person around Katya. Without her, she was a rather shy girl who barely made social contact. Of course, at work, she had social contact, but outside of work, there wasn’t as much as she perhaps wanted. Around Katya, she changed, couldn’t stop talking and even collected some of the mannerisms Katya used while she spoke. 

Trixie felt complete around Katya and that was a feeling she had never felt before.


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya is having dreams and flashbacks to her childhood and Trixie finds out about a huge secret in Katya's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back back back again. I'm sorry this took so long but I've been working a lot and I met a Skinny Legend on Monday. (March, 18.)  
> You guys, Trixie is so sweet and amazing. I miss her so much. (Check out my Tumblr for pics or stalk me on Instagram @serenvx)
> 
> This chapter y'all going to find out a lil sum about Katya's past. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF ABUSE AND MENTION OF BLOOD
> 
> Enjoys fags x

\- Several years ago -

_Katya’s dad was dancing around the living room, carefully picking up the posters for the election._

_“Can you turn that down?” Katya’s mom asked and her dad danced towards the radio, turning it down. “Thank you.”_

_“Your mom doesn’t like music.” Katya’s dad said, chuckling and shook his head._

_“I like it,” Katya said. Her dad looked at her and smiled._

_“You have good taste.”_

_“I love music, just not so loud.” Katya’s mom said and stared at her husband. Katya placed a wooden beam on the table and started to saw it._

_“What the hell is good at it, if you can’t hear. Right, Katya?” Her dad replied and her mom sighed._

_“Yeah, right.” Katya softly said, continued to work on the wooden beam. It was obvious her dad always wanted a son, so he could help him build stuff. But now he was stuck with her and she had to do it anyway._

_“Never trust the quiet ones. Those are the pricks that are always up to something.” Katya kept sawing and the smaller part separated from the bigger part. Her dad sighed. “You cut it too short. What did I tell you?”_

_“Sorry.” Katya stammered._

_“Sorry what?”_

_“Sir.” Katya blinked._

_“Respect. You gotta give it if you want it. Don’t forget that. Make the next one longer.” He said and Katya nodded, shoved the beam forward making sure she was cutting a bigger piece this time. Katya glanced over her shoulder and saw her mom looking through all the bills they should’ve paid._

_“See that?” Katya’s dad said, holding up a flyer. “This is our ticket. Once you’re in the city council, everybody wants to fill your pockets.” Katya went back to her beam and her dad took a huge gulp of his beer._

_“Do you want a sip?” He asked and her mom scoffed._

_“She most certainly does not.” She said._

_“My dad let me take a sip before I could talk. Here, take one.” He said and shoved the beer bottle in her hands. Katya just stared at it, then at her mom. “What are you look at her? Go on, take the sip. I said it’s okay.” Katya swallowed and held the bottle to her lips. The intoxication smell of beer filled her nostrils and made her wanna puke, but she took a gulp anyway. Katya gagged and spit out the beer. Her mom jumped up from the couch._

_“Anton, what are you doing? Jesus Christ.” She said and took the bottle from Katya’s hands._

_“Come on it’s funny. You worry too much.”_

_“Well, someone has to. How are we paying off all this?” She said, gesturing to all the election posters and boards spread across the room. Bill sighed and dropped the hammer on the table._

_“I got it covered. I took a loan.” Her mom crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow._

_“A loan? What did the bank put you up with?”_

_“No not the bank. Forget the bank. It was Rigoletto.” Her mom stared at him in awe._

_“Who is that?” Katya asked. Her dad turned around._

_“Nobody, forget it. It’s an investment, Elena. You gotta spend money to make money. Once I get on the council, this will all be taken care of.”_

_Elena shook her head. “I don’t know about this.”_

_“You don’t know ‘bout nothing. You gotta take risks. You want something in your life, you gotta put yourself out there.”_

_“Yeah, you gotta put yourself out there, mom,” Katya said and her dad pointed at her._

_“See, even the kid is smarter than you.” He said and went back to the table, hammering a nail in one of the posters._

Katya shot up, sweat dripping down her face. She swallowed down hard and swung her legs over the edge of her bed. Tall, massive windows spread across the wall, giving her a view that would take your breath away. Katya stared into the distance for a while, when she stood up and walked over to her bathroom. She took a long shower, making sure ever memory of that dream was washed off and got dressed. She walked into her closet and passed the long rails of suits. She picked a dark grey suit, with a black blouse. She walked over to the little cabinet in the middle and opened the drawers with buttons. There were at least twenty-something buttons in the drawers, but she always picked the ones her dad used to wear.

Katya got dressed in silence and stared at herself in the mirror. After staring for too long, a little girl appeared, covered in blood. Her reflection faded away and made room for the girl, staring right into her eyes. Katya sighed and turned around. She took one last glance at the mirror before turning the light off and walking towards the kitchen.

Katya prepared herself breakfast and sat alone at her huge dining table when her phone started ringing. Violet’s name appeared on her phone and she answered it.

“We have a situation.” Katya sighed.

“What is it?” She said, putting her fork down and rubbed her hand against her forehead.

“They’re onto us. Detective Blake.” Katya sighed. Someone must have told about who did it and they found out.

“Just take care of it before more people find out about it,” Katya said and Violet hung up. Katya stared out of the window. She let her mind wander off and fell right back into the dream that had woken her up.

_Katya was slightly crying, sitting at the dinner table. Her lip was busted open, but the blood had already dried up. Her mom came walking back from the kitchen. Katya looked up at her mom with watery eyes._

_“It’s okay, honey. Here, have some cheesecake.” Katya stared down at the cheesecake and sniffled._

_“I’m not hungry.”_

_“Come on, eat it, it will make you feel better.” Her mom said, pushing a lock of hair out of her face._

_“Are you having some?” Katya asked as she took the fork from the plate. Elena stood up and walked back to the kitchen._

_“Yeah, sure baby.” She said. Katya took a little piece on her fork and started eating the cake. Katya hated to admit that it kind of did make her feel better. Katya put her fork down again._

_“Do you think it’s true? What Jane said?” Katya asked, looking up at her mom._

_“You can’t listen to people like that. You have to just block them out.” Her mom said and Katya just nodded. They continued their cake in silence when footsteps filled the silent background noise._

_“What the hell happened to you?” Katya’s dad showed up in the door, pointing at Katya’s face._

_“It’s alright. I got this.” Her mom said. Katya’s dad leaned on an empty dining seat._  
_“You gotta stop feeding her that shit. You want to get her fatter than she already is?” He said and took their plate of cake away._

_“Anton-“_

_“How did this happen?” Anton asked and Katya looked up at him._

_“It was Jane Walker- “_

_“Am I asking you?” Anton interrupted his wife, again. Elena stared at him but eventually looked away. “What did she do?” He asked, looking back at Katya._

_“She was knocking your signs down,” Katya said, voice trembling. “I told her to stop, but she wouldn’t. She said I was a loser, just like my father.” Anton looked at her._

_“Get your coat.” Katya frowned as she looked at him. “Get your coat.” He said again, slamming the table. Katya shot up and ran to the hall to get her coat. Katya’s dad followed her._

“How are you?” Katya asked. She was sitting on the sofa, crossing her legs. She mindlessly stared at the TV, while images of her memories floated around her mind.

“Good. How’s everything at the shop? I’ve been planning to come back for another suit.” Katya said, and she heard the excitement in Trixie’s voice. They haven’t seen each other in a week, and Katya had to admit she missed Trixie’s presence. Trixie brought something up in her, she didn’t know was there.

“I will soon, I haven’t been feeling well lately,” Katya said, smiling when Trixie sounded concerned. “I will. Don’t worry. See you soon.”

_Katya and her dad started walking down the street. Katya didn’t know where they were going but she followed her dad anyway. They rounded the corner into a small alley when she heard glass shattering. Jane was there, holding a baseball bat and what looked like a smashed glass bottle._

_“Hey.” Her dad yelled out. Jane looked at them and rolled her eyes, putting down another glass bottle. “Is that her?” Anton directed his voice towards Katya and she just nodded. Jane stood up and swung her bat at the bottle again, watching it shatter into a million pieces._

_“You been knocking down my signs?” Anton asked her._

_“Yeah, so? The elections are over.”_

_“That doesn’t give you the right to destroys other people’s property, does it?” Jane looked uninterested and shrugged. “What you’re not running your mouth now? My daughter said you had plenty to say to her.” Jane just looked at Katya, surprising a smirk._

_“I put myself out there.” Her dad continued. “You think it’s my fault nobody sees what I have to bring. Wanna call me a loser to my face?”_

_“I didn’t call you a loser.”_

_“Oh, so my girl’s a lair now?” Anton said, pointing his hand towards Katya. “Did she say It or not?” He looked at Katya now and she nods. “Speak up, when I talk to you.” Anton lashed._

_“Yeah, she said it.”_

_“No, I didn’t. My dad did. I just repeated him.” Jane said, looking slightly amused._

_“You think this is funny?” Katya’s dad grabbed Jane by her shirt and Katya gasped. “What I’m trying to do here? How I’m putting myself out here?”_

_“Whatever man. Jesus.” Jane said and found herself out of Anton’s grip, but when she turned around, she hit Anton in the head with the baseball bat she was holding._

_“Hey, I’m talking to you.” Anton said and shoved Jane into a fence. Katya froze in her place. She was way too young to intervene, so there was nothing she could do. But suddenly she yelled at the top of her lungs._

_“Dad! Please stop.” Katya stepped closer but had to step away when Jane fell to the ground. Anton grabbed the baseball bat and swung it in the air. “Dad, please don’t do this.” Anton looked up at Katya but didn’t say anything. Anton dropped the baseball bat and stormed off, leaving Katya standing there alone with Jane on the floor._

Katya moved to the couch and stared at the white walls. It didn’t often happen to her, flashbacks into her past. But when it did, it always played the whole memory. At times she wished this wouldn’t happen to her, but it also made her think about why she was doing all of this. She used to be afraid to turn into her father, and when she was close to becoming him, she had to remind herself what kind of man he was. This was one of those moments. 

_Anton dragged a chair in front of the white wall beside her bed. Katya felt her mother’s presence in the back but chose to ignore it. She didn’t know what her dad was trying to do but it didn’t feel good._

_“Think about the kind of woman you want to be,” Anton started, turning to face Katya. “Sit here, stare at that wall and think about it.” Katya frowned but she could tell her dad was dead serious. “You’re my daughter. You should be a queen, not a coward. Sit down.” Katya didn’t say anything, she just said down and faced the wall._

_“Don’t take your eyes off till I get back,” Anton said and walked out of the room. Katya started to focus on the texture on the wall, noting every tiny little detail._

_“It’s late. Where are you going?” Elena asked when Anton started putting on his jacket._

_“I have to take care of something. What’s the matter?” Anton said._

_“Can’t it just wait until tomorrow?” Elena asked, slightly raising her voice._

_“No, Elena. It can’t. I gotta talk to Rigoletto, tonight.” Anton said, fixing the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt._

_“О_ Господи, _” Elena said, under her breath. (Oh Jesus)_

_“Don’t worry about it, okay?”_

_“How much do you owe him?” Elena kept asking questions. Katya tried to focus on the wall, but she was sitting in the middle of the room._

_“I got it covered. That’s all you need to know.” Elena started walking towards him, passing Katya._

_“No. I told you not to borrow money from him. But no, you had to be the big shot. You had to have your face plastered all over the city.” That was the moment. Anton lost control and lashed on Elena, punching her in the face. Elena groaned._

_“Is it not enough that I already have this shit outside? Huh, I gotta get it in my own house too?” Anton was yelling and Katya flinched. She knew if she took her eyes off the wall now, she would get hit as well. Anton took his belt from his jeans._

_“Anton, please.” Elena pleaded._

_“Shut up!” And he swung his belt at his wife. Katya shrunk every time the belt hit her mom._

Violet came walking into the room, but Katya kept staring.

“I didn’t call for you,” Katya said.

“No. I thought you might need something.” Violet said, calmly.

“If I needed something, I would’ve called for you.” Violet chuckled.

“I don’t think that’s always true.” Katya turned around and Violet stepped aside. A soft pink dress rounded the corner, heels clicking on the tiles. Katya’s eyes went up and she was face to face with Trixie. Katya felt the look on her face soften. Trixie stopped next to Violet and just looked at Katya. Violet opened her mouth but Trixie leaned in.

“It’s alright.” Trixie softly said. “Thank you.” Violet nodded and turned around, walking out of the room. Trixie started walking further towards Katya.

“I like your place.” She started. “Not sure about the table. Can tell you aren’t either.”

“Please go,” Katya said, turning towards the wall again. Trixie stopped.

“If that’s what you really want,” Trixie said calmly. Katya turned her face, stared at Trixie but never commented. Trixie continued walking and stopped beside her. “She’s worried about you. Your friend.”

“She shouldn’t be.” Trixie stood in front on Katya now.

“You made a promise to me. To always be honest with me. What’s wrong?” Katya said nothing, just stared. After a while, she broke the silence.

“I’m afraid.” She started. “How you would look at me if you knew.” Trixie looked in her eyes.

“Tell me.” Was all she said. Katya’s mind drifted off again.

_“Please.” Elena’s voice was weak._

_“Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. I lost because of you. This family.” Anton yelled. “They see what kind of shitty family this is. They see you and that stupid child, and they laugh.” Tears were rolling down Katya’s face._

_“And you. You don’t believe in me.” Anton said, his voice sounded softer, but he was still yelling._

_“Yes, I do. I always believed in you.” Anton kept hitting and Katya had enough. She stood up from the chair. She looked away from her dad, he wasn’t facing her so he couldn’t see her. Tools were scattered on the table and Katya picked up the hammer._

_“You don’t believe in me,” Anton yelled and Elena whimpered._

_“Shut up!” Katya yelled this time. She was taken away by her own voice; how steady it was even though she was crying. Katya’s hand gripped onto the handle and Anton turned around. He started walking towards her._

_“What are you going to do with that, huh?” Katya’s shaky hands lowered the hammer. “That’s what I thought, coward.” Anton turned back to his wife and walked to her again._

_“Can you believe this shit? He gets that from you.” Anton said. Without any thought, Katya swung the hammer at her dad’s head. Anton stopped walking and raised his hand towards the back of his head. He touched his head and brought it back in front of his face. His fingers were coated in blood. With that look, he fell down on his knees and Katya swung the hammer again, hitting him in the exact same soft. Elena gasped but she was in too much pain to get up. Katya lost control and kept hitting her dad in the head, blood splatters across her face and clothes. Eventually, Elena got up and pulled her daughter away from her dad’s body._

_“Mommy.” Katya croaked, dropping the hammer on the floor._

_“It’s going to be okay, sweetie,” Elena said and wrapped her arms around her daughter. After ten minutes, Elena let go of her daughter. She cleared her throat._

_“Get the saw.” Elena walked into the kitchen and grabbed a few garbage bags and duct tape. She rolled Anton on the garbage bags and started undressing him. She took the buttons from his sleeves and placed them on a little table. Katya brought the saw and she just stood there, watching her mother taking care of the body._

“We took the bags to the river,” Katya said, brushing her thumb over one of the buttons. “Every night, one bag. For a whole week.” Trixie hadn’t said anything yet, she just listened to what she had to say.

“Everyone in town knew that he owed money to Rigoletto. So, I guess they thought that he left town to avoid him. My mother, she sent me to my family on the farm, that I told you about.” Katya looked up and saw tears in Trixie’s eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault,” She started. “You were protecting your mother.”

“I didn’t do it for her. I did it for myself. That’s why I still wear these.” Katya said, lifting her arm. “To remind myself that I’m not cruel for the sake of cruelty. That I’m not my father. That I’m not a monster.” Trixie just kept staring at Katya. Feeling guilty, maybe. But very much sorry for Katya with what she had to go through.

“Am I?” Katya asked, her voice soft again and Trixie shook her head.

“No, Katya. You aren’t.” Trixie grabbed Katya’s hand, that was still in the air and pressed it against her heart. Trixie lied her head against Katya’s shoulder.

“Soon it won’t matter. There are people out there that want to expose me.” Katya said, Trixie’s head still on her shoulder. “They don’t understand what I’m trying to do for the city. They wanna drag my name through the streets. They wanna destroy everything I’m trying to accomplish.” Katya breathed out hard and Trixie finally lifted her head from Katya’s shoulder, going back to staring into her eyes again.

“And are you going to let them?” Trixie asked. Katya looked at Trixie and sighed.

“No, I am not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment or message me on Tumblr and tell me what you think!
> 
> @dykezamomattel


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